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09 August 2011 @ 04:38 pm
I've been having a ton of suicidal thoughts today. I just don't see the point. I've had a broken heart for over four months now, and I'm just always so depressed. I never have anyone to hang out with, and I just try to get through each day. I don't feel anything, not even when I cut. I just wanna DIE. I can't take this anymore. I laughed in class today, it felt great, and I got in trouble for that. I listen to sad songs all day long just trying to numb the pain that I feel, but nothing seems to work. I don't know why I'm alive anymore... I've just had it.
16 July 2011 @ 09:53 pm
So I'm finally getting around to writing a book! I'm going to put it up on my fictionpress and maybe on here. Would anyone wanna read it if I put it on here? But beware, my writing SUCKS.
30 June 2011 @ 07:23 pm
If you could go back and change one event in your life (or un-say one thing you wish you'd never said), what would you choose, and why?

I would have never gotten in that fight with Lopez. He meant a lot to me, and I blew it. It was the worst mistake of my life, and no matter what I do, he won't forgive me.
22 June 2011 @ 04:25 pm
Medium:  Heartbreak
Fandom:  General
Subject:  Heartbreak
Title:  Forever and Always
Warnings:  No.
Notes: Yet another fanmix for him... all the other one's are at my old journal. 
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Current Location: Hell
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: My Brain Going "OMG STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM"
22 June 2011 @ 01:09 pm
It's been exactly 3 months since I've had a real conversation with him, and I hate every second of it. 3 fucking months. I miss  him so much it's insane. I keep having dreams about him, and it's driving me insane. I will wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat just because he appeared in my dream for a couple of seconds. I hate it. There's nothing I can really do to get him back. I've tried everything. He hates me.

And sorry to everyone on my f-list who keeps getting new posts about this guy. I've just been thinking about him a lot lately.
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20 June 2011 @ 09:20 pm
I woke up from a nap an hour ago and all I have been depressed ever since. He has been on my mind constantly, and I can't stand it. I wish I could tell him that I'm sorry. I really wish I was in school the last day so I could have had that talk with him, but no. I had to be sick. Even though he hurt me (and I admit it was partly my fault), there's not a day I don't think about him. If I could take it all back, I could. I tend to yell at people without thinking, and that was the case with him. I'm upset about how I reacted. I was wrong, and I know that now. But It's to late to tell him that.

I don't know if I can wait till the end of the summer to fix this with him. If I could say something to him right now, it would be that I'm sorry. And even though I know it can't go back to how it was before, doesn't mean that we can't have a relationship like he does with all his other students. I'm torn.
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Current Music: Back to December- Taylor Swift
20 June 2011 @ 09:08 pm
Just leave me a comment and I will add you!

16 June 2011 @ 06:38 pm
So I got a new journal because I was sick of getting made fun of on the other one, and my interests have changed quite a bit since I made my old one. From now on, I will be using this one! So yayyyy. 
Current Mood: blankblank